My desi Gal My desi Gal

I suppose this song is making me mad every time i listen i am listenign to it. this was the song i hated most and dono what practice it can be called. if u dont like anythig more, the more u r exposed to it, after sometime you get mad about that(kinda typical telugu films for starter heroes and all.
Been like a Back to square one position and its more than comforting that i am starting to think about my priorities and people who r laughing behind the curtains(Its the comparison given by Osho), I think i could not be in a worst sitution than this adn perhaps the wild part of getitng out.experimenting from home tuitions to seeing flop movies like the one of allari naresh came.. blade babji and dongalabandi, guitar ambition and seeing insane movies english and playing core shuttle and trying to apply my mind for possibly every shot i try to play. eating all food( The kinda vareities that are not allowed also) and at the end of the day reporting to my reporting officer..(my blog).
There were many places this time i had chance to go this time. seeing surya s\o krishnan in sort of theatre,(yuck screen 5 in prasads. its was like a stage for some item essay writing competition). That film was like unimaginable. The only thing i liked in the entire movie was the guitar part and nothign else. simran in those contrasting salwars. This guy surya is crazy he is worse than me. he goes all the way to Berkley university to see Sameera Reddy and then she dies in a blast for the project she was doing in FBI office. she was get exxagerating results of 99% avg anta and then suddenly he comes back. Go to kashmir. do something else. miitants and all.getting some award and suddenly out of thin air while eating tiifin one day he gets idea that he wants to go into Army katham he becomes army and then the purpose of the next heroine is solved. all looked so so so silly to me. Surya is not been utilized properly according to the talent he has. and He is crying all through the film and the mood is dull when a person liek surya cries almost like periodically for every 5 min..
Apart from this, had been to sirisha's birthday party. have been speaking about couples & love and silly topics like is egg veg or non-veg. almost didnt think of any stupid that day. atlast i got the book fountain head of Ayn rand to go thru what was in that..Listening to a song from swades. Yeh jo des hain mera.. Wah somewhere it has a soothing effect on me and i get so happy and suddenly varsha keeps dar e disco. How cud shahrukh Khan do swades and again Om Shanti Om. looked like oxymoron.
Was talking about a virtual Character called 'X' who i supposed to be almost equivalent to GOD who planned such an excellent, well-planned conspiracy of the financial breakdown that royally and professionally he has affected CEOs, banks, people need of funding for MS, Software solution(who depend on projects), and me. I cant imagine the planning and the effect he might have thought while doing such a step and they still say its going to turn worse than now in the coming times. I suppose i remember a person like THE JOKER in the picture who are in the clan who jus like the world burning and nothign else..
The only thing i think now is like a typical lakshya dialogue"Main Akela Army mein kya karoonga" and now is a task where i shud be alone enka. I was inspired lot by John Miller frm Saving Private Ryan. God, Tom Hanks can express feelings that i cant even imagine sometimes. and in the next moment a film like Death Race comes out with modern day swift and core action and the concept of the racing and all using sophisticated machinery and all with great music behind. Saw a film called rab ne banadi jodi. aemo i felt filmy, but music was good.
Enuf of Filmy buzz, been listenign to the songs from Simon and Garfunkel , quite an old album. constant chants of the CORRS- unplugged shows in MTV and then again the The Man who sold his world - Niravana.. I seriously think sometimes i am too lost in my life or may be i was in some bad waters on my route towards a place that wud perhaps be liek a perfect place for evrybody. Perhaps for everybody i think there are certain constraints for anythign perfect, perfect boy\girl, perfect place for work, perfect movie, perfect song. perfect shot, perfect food, perfect behaviour... Well this is what is the making of a perfect person is..

Instant Enlightment

I suppose this is the fastest feeling i have got to tell back that i have got enlightened that probably i am in a position to be authoritative an slash anybody who is showing pity on me perhaps that i am not getting the treatment they are getting.. Like some say to me i still not shy to say i am still enjoyin and no depression and am ready to defend anythign that comes to me and perhaps i still think i am still in the same status that i was two or three blogs before with those guitar solos and the School of the Rock mood.. thinking like Jack blak in most of the situations. I still think its not a lost cause at all and things are made worse to get reapired better and i still think with the little brain i have i can be happy and get a job that is befitting to the things i know. so there is absouletely nothing to worry that things are out due to recession and i have my support to take any decision and thts the biggest suport and i need nobody support almost. i have a dad who smmiles while i sleep when he leaves. my mom wakes me with a call that nobody can jus neglect. then some people who keep hell lot of contact literally every min sometimes when i need support from eating to movies and then for shuttle people like raghu shitler lucky santosh pk all the olympic champions and national champions, babby and the typical hello sir hello sir thing with satish having that kiss drop shot and seeing prem shouting and hitting incredible smashes. abhi and federrer trying out best. kishore somtimes surprising me with unexpected shots. after play a gang of four in front of HIMALAYA Bakers. that fellow remembers my face. the same order, cococola for me. icecream+coke for shitler. mazaa for raghu and puff for KK. then talk starts from cartoons to movies to dialogues to everything and then santosh comes back and everybody starts to tease olympic champions and then time to go. I cant expect much better day like this , with my cell phone buzzing always with 100 msgs a day. with surprise messages from bunty and all.. Its waste sparing time for anybody except me.
Chat with invisible people for some time and THEONLYONE_ADVAIT starting the show like the right here right now show with rap lyrics and making the talk so crisp like we discuss evrything and then at 11 sharp i get a call from sharat and his talk abt all and me and how sometimes things change and all. Lots of oxymoron talk from shitler and phone buzzez till 1 in the night and then get a messgage" YA GOODNIGHT. ", feel terribly sleepy. think of all possible matrix shots in shuttle and sleep. Never remember any dream. wake up with a got up or still sleeping eh?
Do i need anythign more than this...?

Amusingly Serious

Ha one more into the Oxymoron Series.. Its now like a integrated part of my daily life and perhaps i dono i should be able to perceive why its happening like that or its jus that i have to accept it as a part of my life's order. Dono whenever things happen to me that i have perhaps never thought of or atleast expected of, i think that this is the worst that could happen to me and then something more worse comes by as if somebody is breaking world record in a 100 metres sprint. the better it becomes, the faster it is bettered. Especially after raghu was telling that there wud be no openigns and all. I suddenly imagined myself in a state in my 4/1 and thought i had made a comprimise for CTS too much and was too egoistic not to even use the oppurtunities i cud have atleast tried for and the sad part is whenever i need support, everybody starts to get busy or unwell or something else. i realized i had to face all myself. sometimes i do fall prey to my habits like callin people whom i should not and then get the heat. I have a frame of mind and they have another.. getting scolded everytime i think they can help me out. I am thankful to everyone who is teaching me how to face myself, now that its sure i am going out and not going to work here anymore.
Things apart from this, there has been quite a lot things going on mind abt registering on naukri.com and bullshit that i could not have imagined an year back.I know exactly where i was one year back.. and the things whom i jus skipped because i dint wanna lose that enjoyment and perhaps paying me off. perhaps when i go to adyar, i might get my mind right..esp after some greivances abt finance. i thought i must sit in a room get myself locked up and throw the key somewhere(this was my frnds idea,not mine).
i suddenly come to a position where i need to think from a very basic point of view where things need lot of work to get finished like starting up with a ppt or thinking abt how to prepare for a talk. I have been reading freedom of mind by J.krishnamurty and the only idea that striked me was a two letter idea-"LET GO".Its like the password for everypossible question we can ask. starting frm what shoudl i do and its seriousness quotient and i think thts the best answer. job, friend, phone, job, play, work anything when u have a problem. only one answer. He also continues to say that One is survviving rather than living and the converse is what must be happenign. I have been watching movies almost out of no interest and am not able to have the feeling of a movie-buff anymore. call it saturation or anything. I was sorry for many wrong perceptions and huge dissapointments. Its jus making me like stolid for anythign that might happen to me. be it my close friends birthday or the music i was waiting for or playing shuttle with people who play better than me but i occasionally win overthem. I have been overtaken by fear. not to go alone,not to talk abt me, not to do anythign alone and going along with the flock.
Been listenign to some song from a movie called Chandni Chowk to china and some from Ghajini(Hindi). I have perhaps lost that desperation for the Job and the people i thought who wud help me out. after the day appa told i thought its was not partly conicidence and providence that people become independent in the positive sense and selfish in the other sense, though not asking like the typical way( I was there for u and why u not for me)..
Its been quite a time me giving solos of socha hai song in tha baathroom and perhaps when i do that its jus means thinga are gettig on track..
I wud like to tel an adult adage..
Success kisses u in private, failure !@#$% in public..

almost ready i jus hope

The day raghu said" naana shivaji happy daus are up.." i thought somthign else. CTS calling him and somebody also. i thought mera number aaneey vaala hai and then its jus time i was happy sort of not getting with them. be it academic reasons or any other also. i jus think things are jus happening the way i wanted and delay is good to get better people around me. i dont want to get intimidated by anybody anymore and its jus that i had a good day ragging raghu with all those happy days chores me lucky pk and aditya near the regular satya market adda and i thought never ever again we would meet again like that particularly with that frame of the mind and i thought, the days are up. the other day when lucky was saying no more shuttle and he being left out and no more sessions in the shop.l no more analysis abt the play with and by raghu and no movies to go on weekends. most imporatnt cant get up at 10 daily like the earlier blog and almost fot the next 20 odd years.get into a frame that doesnot make me to think everything different other than my work and all shit. i perhaps might be thinking i woudl be getting my call near and i thought not to feel i dint do anythign .. experiment i suppose on anythingi want to. cooking dancing guitar shuttle solo singing classical concerts walking radio and all except things that might be in the schedule of CTS and for sure no professional !@#$ attitude out of my @$#, sure!! kinda busy or telling some make belive stories and all.. i suppose its time they get a taste of a good neat gentlemen proffesionalism from me..i really miss my rock on solo alone and many other things.. been thinking to do anythign and i wanna do with utmost enjoyment..called it hyper or anything else also.. i have been a reading a book holy christ holy grail.. lol and then talking literallly too much to some new friends and i think its us like my reaction to every situation to a guitar solo and every minute is now running and to all those who think i am showing attitude , i am doing what they are thinking..
things apart, i jus got my spy(raghu) now for me to get ready to join CTS and in much comfortablenow that i am jus ready to join there with no tensions and twists and all. good for me i suppose.. i have been literally closing my eyes and singing that song from rock on with so much imagination in my mind abt with the guitar. its almost undescribable..the heights i reach to while there is a solo for guitar.. nothign this time to write. this time. wil come back for sure..

rock on rock on thts it.. no words.. experience is like dumbman tasting honey..

My feelus says i almost nearing...

My feelus says i am almost nearing something like the type of feeling that freudo has, when he is near the mountain volcano to slip the ring off. perhaps from the day CBIT and MVSR have got mails and esp. industrial production., A sort of weird feeling has come in me. The fear to lose my freedom. I have been living almost with entire freedom for the past half a year and its jus i am now aspiring for more time as i think i am getting to do things that i am liking more. thts what i was talking with amma and sirisha also from the past two days. life cant be anymore exciting and unpredictable. when i was thinking i would be gobbled up by the corporate world in another month or so. i was thinking about the things i had to do. like talking abt colleagues, work and making mockery of bosses, money chase and accumulating, bank acconts, taxes, dead lines, tensions and problems for sure that i dont intend to be in adn moreover i got to go to a place regularly and monataneously doing work for the firm and "hiding" in cubicles and chilling off in pubs and thinking abt future and all.. i was scared today after having my dinner and then perhaps decided i should see dil chahtha hai movie to let this off go and be fine.
I was happy that i still tell somethings that i really feel sometimes to amma and appa and then they tell that the real test to prove the difference might well be this. Dad was telling people are tested well when they are taken into the project but the are tested even more when they are made to sit in the "bench" status and he told i had to be different there and perhaps be like a "can-do-anything" person. I felt particularly bad when i found myself selfishly trying to earn money for my pocket money some weeks before when parents were ready to give me the money i wanted. I started pondering whther i needed to get into the money chase and goose chase so fast from now and become independent not depending on my father. My habits never demand more money than my parents ever gave me. I think the platform is rightly set for me to join the job and then approch the life with better tactics without being too childish. emotion, relationship in engineering, friends and all those i think i have helped were a phase of my life and perhaps the way i am thinking trying to think and do what i am doing is the right way. i dont mean to be stolid and emotionless, but anythign in its limits is very good and perhaps my reactivity is getting controlled. i am not demanding things like before and leaving it to people for them to choose.
Its been an eye opener watching the dasvidaniya movie and the way he completes his "things to do " sheet in a comprehensive manner, showing gratitude to all he cared for. Perhaps after a couple of months, when i read my blog, i am sure i would realize how much i missed doing things i liked. i daily get up by the tenth call of my mom at 9.30 a/m sharp and then see my messages that buzzed me in the night. i then ask my mom.." aaa eroju plan aentee..?" and then a reply comes" eeroju chaala panlu chaeyalee ra nenu", which means i have to do it. then when mom goes for bath. following the multi tasking principle, i keep water for bath, clean house, and brush my teeth. then switch on the computer and put my playlist on. drink coffee have bath and then start work for the day. when i keep cleaning the house. i keep talking with amma how life changes with me and promise that i will never be like the lineage i was from. i could sometimes never imagine what i would be without her and the converse also. dad calls from office and says" arey aemaina manchi mails vuntey pampichu ra, naaku timepass avtundhi.." and then i sit down readin sports news in TOI and then computer. advait comes online and we have a typical probablistic discussion about life to sop to shuttle to cts and astrophysics and then a message comes in my phone.. "hi u there?".. continously 50 messages and then see a film with facebook scrabble and think how could i learn the smash in shuttle with the immobility problem i have in the court. i affirm," think for a fraction of a second more than the opponent and perhaps i could play better and many other things. i then sleep and then wake up ready and message lucky and raghu that i stored in a template" started frm home. in mettuguda, wil be the ground in fifteen min" and then walk from the law college to the ground with the radio on.. play well and come back home and then talk with appa and listen to soothing music and then i get a message.."finished playing aa?".. i smile and then the number counts to another fifty. have dinner altogether after the"king" leaves after his tuition for my sister. with songs and all. i sit to blog my night till i get sleep with messaging her..
I suppose things after a month cant be like this...

this time calvin and hobbes comics a small conversation:
Calvin: Look at all these ants. They're all running like mad, working tirelessly all day, never stopping, never resting. And for what? To build a tiny little hill of sand that could be wiped out at any moment! All their work could be for nothing, and yet they keep on building. They never give up!

Hobbes: I suppose there's a lesson in that.
Calvin: Yeah... Ants are morons. Let's see what's on TV.

Entry to a Fathomless field

Being listening to Socha hai from rock on and i make it a point to give a solo (including the guitar tunes) daily.. :-)
I am happy actually to note myself myself in better control and thinking better and its jus like that the controls are slowing coming back to me and its jus time that things are going to get right and probably questions that have been ringing from many a mouth wil answered in the way they have questioned and rather it would be like a mirror experience, to get what they do.
I have been experimenting rather heavily this time and been thnking there was lot to do than thinking and jus pondering about things like a LOST CAUSE thing. i have been doing lot of things that are making me know how different people are and how they behave according to their upbringing and i certainly show a lot f gratitude to the people who are directly and indirectly responsible for me writing this statement thanking them. i have been attending to some music concerts of priya sisters and unnikrishnan and certainly have observed that the art is speaking in him in such a way that its not like they look attractive and all, but one thing to observe is that the people who have the art in them whether dormant or active, it shows in their face and tht makes special like when one of the priya sister, haripriya, was chanting something liek 50 odd notes for a song(in the order of sa re ga ma pa...). It was a combination of the basic notes and i certainly think its next to imposibility to chant something in synchronization and then we were out with this... there \was somthign like a repeat telecast of the same with the instruments likeviolin mridhangam and ghattam. i thought the only way they can be in communion with themselves is by music. simultaneously its been the CAT exam week last week and lot of things ringing like calls and cutoffs and all. it was certainly a break for them too.. i was certainly feeling more than occupied and felt i was blessed to have time like this rather than cursing the time i had now.i dint want to get into the money making business so fast that i loose track so early and then i start to loose myself and become a moron that i talk professional always losing mykinda talk and attitude and always talkning about projects and all. Its jus that i am not ready to get screwed so fast.
Its a week expereincing the LOTR(The Lord Of The Rings). I've thought to see the movie and then perhaps read the book and certainly to me. Its like the film has taken me to a whole new world of characters. Perhaps a new side of the fantasy world i was alwasy in. I was always in the harry potter world with the spells and incantations and i certainly think there is more to offer than the orthodox fantasy. I would like to have a separate blog on the LOTR. my fav one was
Legolas.. and nevertheles Aragon and Gandalf(The Dumbledore actor i presume). The geography and the things that they had to face and everytime the problems with the ring and how it was affecting Freudo..
Besides these i have been venturing to put my fingers on to learn electric guitar on. Lets see how it goes. partly inspired by many.. Lolz.:-) The good news is that i have got back my Carlton Club Bat with a better grip and i feel i have been feeling better with that and jokes apart i have been feeling like the unicorn hair core(Harry potter Stuuf, its the core used in harry's wand and no other wand suited him than that..so kinds filmy stuff) sort into that and nobody else who plays with me in a band of about thirty people has a bat of my name and i think i could play better if i start move and blogs would follow regarding the human behaviour as i see in playing in the game of shuttle.. as short i am getting ready for things that are going to come,,
IN short life has been like the typical TATA SKY liner.

Iske saath ho tho life aue bhee ho Jingalalaaa(hope i got that right)

Many things to tell this time

This time no more indirect refrences and thinking about fundas and all and about my realizations that does not matter to anybody more. this blog is a just a recollection of all those college days i had. some i made them good, some i spoiled, some others spoiled but in the end items. never was a smooth one till now..
Currently listening to songs from fashion called fashion ka jalwa and recently the title track that released from the hindi version of Ghajini. Tune was so fresh, i played nonstop for tent times to actually have a taste of the music and that too rehman was in a such a big project after many years almost after Guru. That too after the time i spoke to charan about the charisma he told he lost and i could not imagine him to get into stupid emotions and talking about crying friendhsip life and all that i think wil never suit his face. anybody who knew him wil know what suits him best. so was wondering what leaving college or joining wokr could do to a person likehim. if he was so dull, what would be my sitution. so i thought the best way to get rid of this is to start doing somethign profitable or not and be constantly in something that perhaps may be useful atleast in telling.
Things like my fst year debacle in ELT lab and all, getting ragged by chandu's cousin, buying temptation chocolates for him., dancing in the buses of 5k\120 and then walking from dabba to college fearing who would catch and then in front of the bloack somebody catching and then toorturing me to complete his assignments. I suppose the day i always remember was the day when probably chandu's cousin sai told me to wait for some work of his and i was waiting in my class. my college had a small settlement behind and there were lot of buffalo herds going on most of the time as there was lotof grass all around. dono how he got an idea god knows. he told me to ring the bell of one of the buffalo and ordered me to sit on it or sing a bad song for that ocaasion . my mind was bkocked how can a person can get ideas out of thin air and that too so weird. and then personal interview, be singing like the naxals typical inspirational song about bravery and all from a movie called Arjun(okka maata okka paata and blah blah). I was singing with fullvigour and they were like getting frustrated and suddenly told "COMRADE" change song to sutta song or the suraangani ka song. then four of us started singing and then some senior of final year( i never knew told..." balisindha aa bey. veedhu aa sonto kaadhu" and bought me to a side and asked me for a smoke and told to come to a small place near the bus stand dabba. When i told i dont smoke, he told me to sit and started intellectual ragging like throeing tough oxymoron situations where i had been doing a mistake for anythign i told, neither could i stay silent also.!! then told to sing. i sang my song. lolz. then he told oh u were the boy who worked for the naxals anaa.. i felt puzzled.. changed song to come premadesham(rehman). lucky me that senior told taht i could never understadn the gravity of those words and started telling me fundas abt gals and what piece of shit they were and told me not to ruin my life and all. he then told i shoudl walk till golconda and then and then i walked and took a bus till MP. Though it looked so childish and immature to me when i was in my final year, i was never a kinda of funda boy(except few) . very rarely taking things seriously. more about me this time on a cheerful note listening to a song seriously to a song from the Linkin park' Its going down, Disk mix and really good guitar mix...

Confirmed Confusion

Perhaps it has been my passion to use lot of oxymorons in my blog. Its jus to comprehend that How fluctuating life has been for me now. Today for a change, sad and nobody to blame. Happy things do happen to me and its jus tht i dint recognize them. Its always been my tendency to overlook what i have and observe what others have. having a comparison,, think abt people who think abt u and dont think about people who donot think of you. I seriously confess that i have been neglecting people who care abt me and oftenly care abt people who dont care abt me. This blog is abt those who made a difference and i was the one who never thought they were making a difference. There have been people who think i am almost like similar to them or can adapt to them very easily and they can talk or be with ease if they are with me. perhaps i was too engrossed that i never cared or "acknowledged" and i am facing the repurcussions for the same now. Feeling alone all the time and longing for someone i want, to make me feel better. I shouls see the better side going back to them if possible and getting along in the way that makes me and them comfortabel. some i have lost since they knew i was not intersted to be with them and then chose new ways. I may be in the same way, its so selfish to assume that the other person also thinks in the same manner..
many people whose names i cant refer have made my life special and make things something remarkable that i can never things they did to me. Like .. calling me when i am in sheer depression and i think i am hanging on the last rock of the earth., its been many times some people do respond like that. call it telepathy or good thoughts for me. i have never called epeople when they needed help and i therefor i am like this desperately thinking who would come to my rescue.. wishing me sharp at 12 my birthday, giving me surprises and helping me without i asking him(no her). lol.talking for hours on phone with me when the day has been empty, encouraging me to do things that i could do but probably i was too submissive that i could do it, showing me the positive side of any thing and waiting for me at any event when all come and talking and eating together, calling me for a pose with him for a foto without me going there, though so silly and small,it means a lot and i value them. Its futile waiting for somebody to call rather than attending the call which is waiting for you. So recognize the assets u have rather than cryingon the liablities..
Sometimes when i ask my mom probably the reason why i am like this still waiting for the job and my mind getting grilled so badly, the answer is you are learning more and in the harder way now and this was the training i had to get before i was ready to join my company and til i get the job i had to learn something new. Jus then i would know how i should be with people whom i think are close, were close and going to get close.. I suppose getting close is really bad and we probably lose our controls and we sort of become dependent on them and perhaps like them we should have our own reservations and be stable.
Been listenign to the Fashion theme song and almost had a solo performance with no audience for the song SOCHA HAI from the film Rock on. the place?? Bathroom best place to see one's talent in any thing be it dancing , soul talk, confessions or wondering abt problems that we couldnot solve outside that place..

Aasmaan hai neela kyun
paani geela geela kyun
gol kyun hai zameen
silk mein hai narmi kyun
aag mein hai garmi kyun
do aur do paanch kyun nahi
ped ho gaye kam kyun
teen hain ye mausam kyun
chaand do kyun nahi
duniya mein hai jung kyun
behta laal rang kyun
sarhadein hain kyun har kahin
socha hai ye tumne kya kabhi
socha hai ki hai ye kya sabhi
socha hai socha nahi hai to socho abhi

behti kyun hai har nadi
hoti kya hai roshni
barf girti hai kyun
dost kyun hai rooth te
taare kyun hai toot te
baadlon mein bijli hai kyun
socha hai ye tumne kya kabhi
socha hai kya hai ye kya sabhi
socha hai socha nahi hai to socho abhi

sannataa sunayi nahi deta
aur hawayein dikhayi nahi deti
socha hai kya kabhi
hota hai ye kyun
Ho ho ho……
Ho ho ho……
Aasmaan hai neela kyun
paani geela geela kyun
gol kyun hai zameen
silk mein hai narmi kyun
aag mein hai garmi kyun
do aur do paanch kyun nahi
ped ho gaye kam kyun
teen hain ye mausam kyun
chaand do kyun nahi
duniya mein hai jung kyun
behta laal rang kyun
sarhadein hain kyun har kahin
socha hai ye tumne kya kabhi
socha hai ki hai ye kya sabhi
socha hai socha nahi hai to socho abhi
socha hai ye tumne kya kabhi
socha hai ki hai ye kya sabhi
socha hai socha nahi hai to socho abhi

The Melting Sessions

Been listening now to party numbers like mamb no. 5 o lift up mood from the last post. lol. this week was full of the melting sessions. more of comprimises an make ups because i thought its better to make up rather than split up with anybody even with myself for i know i was never the culprit. Yet, sometimes the "inner" hits me that such things are bound to get broken and perhaps i was jus escaping from that situation for i think i cannot sustain such a situation and i think its better to be like this till the latter changes their thought radically and know whats really happening.
Apart from these listening to scores frm the movie "Fashion", things come on to mind like things like what the Shitler said self control or in the superlative clause of the same is Ego. Sometimes its good to be egoistic and make people realize the value instead of we losing ours and undergoing the melting sessions. lol.
Its been quite a remarkable thing after i attended the marriage and seen many of my "related" people and seen how far i am from them and its now better to understand and get away rather than the other way.. seen many people that they are the milestones in any field and i should be following the people who have set the benchmarks. anyway its good following some and the other jus listening. been procastinating most of the work and trying to wait for people. i jus think its not my time and i jus have to take the beat and then probably i suppose i would be having mine.. all these things come into my mind when i have my thumbs up soft drink near my place and the thirst is getting quenched. feels so good after i have run and returned some of shots i couldnt have in the groudn and think. I Have My Time and perhaps Dormancy will cease to exist inmy life forever.
I dono what the other person thinks when we try to have a makeover with them and i think they will get a morale booster that they are important in the bond and the controls are in their hand. sort of becomes once sided and i getting convinced by any stupid reason they tell for their act. Getting your calls cut, no reply for your calls or messages and not being informed when the others are being informed, many things in the same way that makes me feel that the relation might just not survive more and create more problems that the relation solved either for me or or for them..
I certainly feel for all the things i write, it would certainly make anybody realize how it feels like when anybody would be in my position and though i am not able to tell it as i feel. Its my opinion that anybody and everybody have a bad period in their life when solitary is the only thing that probably is the thing lingering in ur mind. having that unemployed frame of mind and finding the world moving fast and busy that u feel left alone most of the times(always).. and the more u start to think abt this. the more u drown. so its better to blog and vomit things for the day, hopiing things would be good, better than the day i blogged...

the thing that wondered me:
Dont ever tell anybody anything.if you do you'l start missing everybody

Luck Alternation

Its perhaps my first tryout into blogging and perhaps i just think some of my concepts or the incidents i tell may be weird, but are more or less Real..I just think my life is being run by a certain law that tries to make me, my life my surroundings fluctuating that perhaps stability has lost a word in my daily routine. Everytime i think about anything or any person , perhaps long for both tangeable and intangeable, the more i start to go towards, i start to go away from it. can i control the temptation? Defining temptation..hmm..Be it a phone call whom i care for or be a simple Egg puff that smells like the tastiest dish ever made when i come back from a game of shuttle on the way to my home back. I learnt that everythin that is around me has a certain relation with me that i am not able to recognize and trying either to help me or ditch me and its jus for me to know what it has to give me..?
How come things are not going well... esp. now when there is all the time to think and nothing to do at all. when people around you are so busily engaged that they hardly get any time to talk .. sorry, think also!!. even think what this person might be doing. i jus hope life has made them very busy. one minute talks from a one rupee coin dabba from outside jus to enquire how things are going on with all has become almost a distant idea. may be corporate life has changed them!. Many things can be assumed if the problem is not getting solved.
The day at home started today with a recall to buy a new USB that got burnt the day before (for that seein the stupid film golmaal returns) and then wake up with Windows opening in the companion(Comp). */i and varsha call that. /*.then start seeing the missed calls in the phone and messages from whom i thought(dissapointment though). came up with some calls from sirisha and all who are the people who know abt me .. like predicting what may be running in my mind when my face turns up to a undescribable geometrical object!!(Bad comparison, i know it). they know me quite well. felt exceptionally bad thinking abt what life had store in for me.. abt nikhils' talk(was telling i had lot of time for enjoying now.. if not now then never and then suddenly enter team working guys with money and no time) got up after the nap with rock on songs in radio for the day's play.. dissapointingly for an another day. no racket and exceptional partner to low down my morale. thot a lot while coming why this was happening. then was listenign to songs in radio.. mood changed like the radio station..lol!! this has almost become a redundant life for quite some months and sometimes i jus think its fun.. learning more than i would be learning in office, abt people at home !!

time and radio heals everything i suppose and the thing that just made me think was this:

Complexity and Diversity are illusions created by our limitations, Simplicity and Unity are Real.