Dono what is going on.. everything seems to be so spontaneous and all that its jus coming to tell somethng and go. after i came back from chennai and was searching jobs and all and no hope almost form CTS, i thot i shud subsequently change the track of my change, i jus applied for Allen and dono why everything went on so smooth that the questions jus tailor made for the project i did in BHEL and i should be grateful to whatever i learnt and due to whom ever i got that chance. I jus thought i would be growing very fast here as the facilities and all were so tempting that they projects that i had to work in were govt. projects, so i thot it was okie.. more than acceptable. then started twists as expected.. CTS calls CSE IT ECE in two days and all in hyd only.. EEE also same almost and next also in short notice.. twas like mummy rose up from tomb and talking again.. cudnt have expected this,, and that clause in the offer letter of improper intimation and liquiidty charges.. i thot so it was important to control the things i knew rather than spilling it around and repenting again.. so thot that i shud wait for CTS and nothig else, when its sure that he wil call..
Job in Allen was a A/c Cabin in the QC room with a 240 Gb HD and 4 Gb ram wihtout TFT screen and lots of work that i liked to do.. room full of instruments and things that i fantasized about.. files abt Navy projects, Mines and detonators, explosives. i got a shudder when i was modeeling a rocket launcher for BDL which was a part that we had to manufactire as well.. an attachment to the submarine for coastal intruders. too much. Honestly, i wanted to work for some time. Going to CPDC for that analsysis,, i started to assemble In PRO-E and analyse in Nastran Solver and explaining things that i found difficult.. reading FEA textbook while eating..
Weirdness reached its height when i starte to do FEA analysis on a Hat when a person would wear it and then started to make an optimum design with Nastran things in UG and then interpretting Autocad drawings to model my fst real time model the ANSP container.. looked really a great piece to me..those supports and the container when i saw in the factory, i thot the platform was set to learn and deliver with utmost precision.. why do things come and go at the wrong time. i told them all the experiments i solid works and my fst successfull assembly in simulation software was done.. Quality Control things and their impact.. BHN, Rockwell, delamination and al..mind was floating and all in that room.. In the typical Harry potter funda, there was a room in the fourth floor where we cud get whatver we wanted and wished inside that room,, The Room Of Requirement.. this was also on the similar lines.,
Things started to change. all was appreciated, no errors also,... like ansys, irrespective for whatver bullshit we enter, it always tells us SOLUTION IS DONE!!!, and my ever model was appreciated... haha blues in the room.. sitting and thinking what to learn and talking abt cleaning systems.. was telling how they were under using the facilities,, and how shud we upkeep.. daily hours on phone for doubts from KLN.. were sort of kinky.. preoccupied no online.. formals WILLS shirt and all.. telling the technical things in manufacturing whatver i knew.. but it sort of jagged after some days and then after reading that clause i thot. time up.. no remake of The Great Escape Movie.. lol..
In Short,
"Solid" was too "big" to "analyze". wherever i "imported" and how muchver i try to "fit" the solution to the "question", suddenly a "new dimension or a problem" is always created and perhaps every new problem was the way to a "better" and "Convergent" Answer towards the real answer that probably i was waiting for.. I learnt that i had to use the "Fine" mesh rather than the "coarse" one.. and like that CPDC Expert said.. "Observe the Problem from the Base and not superficially"..
This is in short Living "In" finite "Element" Analysis
Monday, January 19, 2009
Friday, January 2, 2009
Sindbad the Sailor
Well the song jus describes what can probably and what is going on in most of the lives and i certainly think the song wil prove itself right. I am back on track listenign the Socha hai song from rock on and shredding invisible guitar with karaoke. for an instant almost i lose myself and then close my eyes and start giving a regular rhythmic nod of the head to the beats and keep an stressed expression when the tone lifts up or the guitar reaches to a high tone..Its jus like bliss when i give a build up of the music director for this song.
Taking a lot of patience together to complete the Broca's Brain book by Carl Sagan and i learnt and surprisingly affirmed one law. Human Life in so integral with the Newtons Laws. Every person is either too low to too high(inertia). somebody has to stop or to push to change the state of a person and on one;s own its not possible.Days before in the Adyar beach in Chennnai , i woke up one morning around 5 in the morning and then started jus walking on the beach and then after an hour so, sat down and was observing things that are so intricate and yet so open for all to observe. I think biggest secrets and principles are so open and visible. We cant identify. I think if v wanna hide anything if v keep it in a place much more open, the chances to lose that are less. Things like sand deposited by the water in every wave, the Horizon, the place where the wave actually generates and the shells that come out and when i knew the story of a pearl, which was, every sand particle when trapped in an oyster shell and in the bed due to the pressure and heat and forces, it turns into a pearl. i was imagining the beach as a potential for the number of possible pearls.It feels so good so sit alone in the beach and thinking how complex things have turned up. tensions, study, work, money,relationships, attraction, self-consciousness and many things. I suppose everybody have a place where they sit alone and think , where am i, whts happening to me, what am i doing, what do i like and why am i here, questions that keep answering itself repeatedly in glimpses and we have to compile it.
I sometimes think a words that come frm a great realized person are highly practical things and its takes time to understand the depth of their talk. like" The Word is nt the thing", "let go","After that what?"... these phrases follow after everything we do and we get the right answer for this and the answer comes from the so called Peter England Inner man. Most time we supress and at times when needed it doesnot come out. Sometimes when i think the concept of communication, the globe has a become a smaller place to live in and for sure i know anymode of expression or communication physically cannot convey what we actually want to say and perhaps the best way to convey is to leave them to experience. I think if everybody is doing what they are supposed to do and all in place. the creation would be one piece or work and perfection would be attained i.e death, whereafter there is no growth and since none is happening like above, every thing is happenign for reason and as said by morpheus" We cannot understand beyond the choices we cant make" and evil is churning people to do good better and the concept is not to a contrast at all, instead an alternate route to acheive the same..
I have literally got mad about the song in Surya s/o krishnan, Yaedhe ne koyakey,, the female and the male voice. the song looks tailor made for a classic tune. I stil wear my brown jerkin in front of the "companion". The scene in the night looks like Neo entering the room to meet the Acrhitect in Matrix Reloaded and then sipping hot water with Socha hai and yaedha Ney Koyakey banging and with blogger.com in,As always i cant ask for more...
Taking a lot of patience together to complete the Broca's Brain book by Carl Sagan and i learnt and surprisingly affirmed one law. Human Life in so integral with the Newtons Laws. Every person is either too low to too high(inertia). somebody has to stop or to push to change the state of a person and on one;s own its not possible.Days before in the Adyar beach in Chennnai , i woke up one morning around 5 in the morning and then started jus walking on the beach and then after an hour so, sat down and was observing things that are so intricate and yet so open for all to observe. I think biggest secrets and principles are so open and visible. We cant identify. I think if v wanna hide anything if v keep it in a place much more open, the chances to lose that are less. Things like sand deposited by the water in every wave, the Horizon, the place where the wave actually generates and the shells that come out and when i knew the story of a pearl, which was, every sand particle when trapped in an oyster shell and in the bed due to the pressure and heat and forces, it turns into a pearl. i was imagining the beach as a potential for the number of possible pearls.It feels so good so sit alone in the beach and thinking how complex things have turned up. tensions, study, work, money,relationships, attraction, self-consciousness and many things. I suppose everybody have a place where they sit alone and think , where am i, whts happening to me, what am i doing, what do i like and why am i here, questions that keep answering itself repeatedly in glimpses and we have to compile it.
I sometimes think a words that come frm a great realized person are highly practical things and its takes time to understand the depth of their talk. like" The Word is nt the thing", "let go","After that what?"... these phrases follow after everything we do and we get the right answer for this and the answer comes from the so called Peter England Inner man. Most time we supress and at times when needed it doesnot come out. Sometimes when i think the concept of communication, the globe has a become a smaller place to live in and for sure i know anymode of expression or communication physically cannot convey what we actually want to say and perhaps the best way to convey is to leave them to experience. I think if everybody is doing what they are supposed to do and all in place. the creation would be one piece or work and perfection would be attained i.e death, whereafter there is no growth and since none is happening like above, every thing is happenign for reason and as said by morpheus" We cannot understand beyond the choices we cant make" and evil is churning people to do good better and the concept is not to a contrast at all, instead an alternate route to acheive the same..
I have literally got mad about the song in Surya s/o krishnan, Yaedhe ne koyakey,, the female and the male voice. the song looks tailor made for a classic tune. I stil wear my brown jerkin in front of the "companion". The scene in the night looks like Neo entering the room to meet the Acrhitect in Matrix Reloaded and then sipping hot water with Socha hai and yaedha Ney Koyakey banging and with blogger.com in,As always i cant ask for more...
Surprising Evolution
Cometh the new year with a hope to make things right(kinda satisfy the expectation we have, atleast normalcy).
Been quite a time tht i have been coming and writing. Actually i have been in a fix to write the blog. when i was too full of ideas i was not connected to write and when i was drained of thoughts and almost like had a sort of Memento thing, i was free to blog and was thinking wht to write. anyways it was a thoughtful trip to chennai and certainly i think it made my change my outlook and made me realize the other things i could do in my time i was in reality, wasting, and the preferences whch i had to give people, freinds, movies, .. be it anything and perhaps i suppose thts the most important thing tht anybody shud be able to do before he is into the world he has no idea how ruthless, rountine and unpredictable it can be. I supposed the lesson can be learnt in two ways , in office and at home and i have been thru it by being at home and certainly at home, we get more time to think than at work and then the vitriolic effect may be seen here. If this is not a part of one's life, he would be missing things that we are actually experiencing now, whether happy or sad, its for good.
Been through a flurry of movies, ghajini and the most important of all was slumdog millionaire. It was an eye opener, esp the last one. how did he get the answer to the final question in the contest.
a) he knew it
b) was told
c) guess
d)IT WAS WRITTEN HE HAD TO WIN
A perfect blend of perfect direction and the stories he told, how he knew the answers for the question. almost tailor made for a perfect film. seen some films as well like where eagles dare, the age old collection of Clint Eastwood with the typical one liners that the captain used to say along with impossible ideas and feats. Been reading books like How to interpret dreams and Thought Forms by C.W.Leadbeater. from the roots of the Theosophical Society.
Perhaps here i am today after i churned my self sitting in beaches in the night and realizing my evolution. How my habits were nurtured, why i fear when anybody raises his voice. why i need anybody when i get alone and never had the habit to stay alone. how i supress and depress myself to let out my sadness instead of tellin outside.
Its said a lie is told to escape or to gain support, though when told back the truth again, things get back but the lie piles up and never exists as a single lie and perhaps the self gets satisfies very fast that it has escaped and there wud be never a lie in the next situation and then when the situation we cant help it.
Today in the evening after my nap, i was feeling i was jus on the verge of dying. i was aware of a session like a reel back show of what all i did and what happened to me, with and without my knowledge and then like a trial balance shows whts the Karma we are left over with. I jus got up with a jerk and realized what i was doing and how complex life was, settling off and creating "new" accounts and how i should be dealing with them off to be normal. like from negative value to come to zero and then further positive work.
When mom was telling i was very fluctuating with my health while i was small and then living separately when amma was unwell. people behaved sort of different with me and that at a young age ,carved something in me , my habits, my thought process and sometimes supressed, didnt know what how i cud vent out my sadness, my helplessness, i used to close myself in a room and refused to come out instead of telling to anyone and thus i started to close myself with others and very little was i like others and then i was forced to "flow" into an ideal mould that would perhaps make me perfect in the future and i lost what i had to do.
My childhood is almost repeating now with similar things happening again with me escaping by depending on frnds, people and they playing when they know i am totally on them and then i taking time to find someone. i felt very sad that i was like transferred from one to another and then i never had any conscience of my own and tht was the problem i was facing. Many say dont sit at home and get busy. thoughts in the mind dont have a sort of gate to stop their flow and control. dono what wil come from where and depends what preference we gave to those thoughts and we can supress not stop and if people are not getting those thoughts, its jus that thoughts are not creating any impact on the mind and its from my childhood upbringng, there are very less things i have hidden and suddenly when hiding or talking formally is a rule in the rule, its taking time for me to get accustomed to this environment. I am now a days fearing to meet anyone because they got adjusted fast unlike me and there are very little people who encourage me and mostly cry or pity or talk professional shit like recession and job sacking and stuff as if nobody knew abt it.. when i am in the waters in the pool and not able to swim. coming and pushing in further , is what can be an analogy.
I certainly realize i am not the only one like me who is getting affected like this. i jus think one thing what Mr. Hegde told in his public lecture;
Where one can sleep four can sit
Where one can sit, three can stand.
and i think i should co-operate with people around me and try with much efforts and i certainly believe the Force that drives everything, i believe when things are ready for me, i wil punch off into different platform making this a rememberance and nothign more.
Been quite a time tht i have been coming and writing. Actually i have been in a fix to write the blog. when i was too full of ideas i was not connected to write and when i was drained of thoughts and almost like had a sort of Memento thing, i was free to blog and was thinking wht to write. anyways it was a thoughtful trip to chennai and certainly i think it made my change my outlook and made me realize the other things i could do in my time i was in reality, wasting, and the preferences whch i had to give people, freinds, movies, .. be it anything and perhaps i suppose thts the most important thing tht anybody shud be able to do before he is into the world he has no idea how ruthless, rountine and unpredictable it can be. I supposed the lesson can be learnt in two ways , in office and at home and i have been thru it by being at home and certainly at home, we get more time to think than at work and then the vitriolic effect may be seen here. If this is not a part of one's life, he would be missing things that we are actually experiencing now, whether happy or sad, its for good.
Been through a flurry of movies, ghajini and the most important of all was slumdog millionaire. It was an eye opener, esp the last one. how did he get the answer to the final question in the contest.
a) he knew it
b) was told
c) guess
d)IT WAS WRITTEN HE HAD TO WIN
A perfect blend of perfect direction and the stories he told, how he knew the answers for the question. almost tailor made for a perfect film. seen some films as well like where eagles dare, the age old collection of Clint Eastwood with the typical one liners that the captain used to say along with impossible ideas and feats. Been reading books like How to interpret dreams and Thought Forms by C.W.Leadbeater. from the roots of the Theosophical Society.
Perhaps here i am today after i churned my self sitting in beaches in the night and realizing my evolution. How my habits were nurtured, why i fear when anybody raises his voice. why i need anybody when i get alone and never had the habit to stay alone. how i supress and depress myself to let out my sadness instead of tellin outside.
Its said a lie is told to escape or to gain support, though when told back the truth again, things get back but the lie piles up and never exists as a single lie and perhaps the self gets satisfies very fast that it has escaped and there wud be never a lie in the next situation and then when the situation we cant help it.
Today in the evening after my nap, i was feeling i was jus on the verge of dying. i was aware of a session like a reel back show of what all i did and what happened to me, with and without my knowledge and then like a trial balance shows whts the Karma we are left over with. I jus got up with a jerk and realized what i was doing and how complex life was, settling off and creating "new" accounts and how i should be dealing with them off to be normal. like from negative value to come to zero and then further positive work.
When mom was telling i was very fluctuating with my health while i was small and then living separately when amma was unwell. people behaved sort of different with me and that at a young age ,carved something in me , my habits, my thought process and sometimes supressed, didnt know what how i cud vent out my sadness, my helplessness, i used to close myself in a room and refused to come out instead of telling to anyone and thus i started to close myself with others and very little was i like others and then i was forced to "flow" into an ideal mould that would perhaps make me perfect in the future and i lost what i had to do.
My childhood is almost repeating now with similar things happening again with me escaping by depending on frnds, people and they playing when they know i am totally on them and then i taking time to find someone. i felt very sad that i was like transferred from one to another and then i never had any conscience of my own and tht was the problem i was facing. Many say dont sit at home and get busy. thoughts in the mind dont have a sort of gate to stop their flow and control. dono what wil come from where and depends what preference we gave to those thoughts and we can supress not stop and if people are not getting those thoughts, its jus that thoughts are not creating any impact on the mind and its from my childhood upbringng, there are very less things i have hidden and suddenly when hiding or talking formally is a rule in the rule, its taking time for me to get accustomed to this environment. I am now a days fearing to meet anyone because they got adjusted fast unlike me and there are very little people who encourage me and mostly cry or pity or talk professional shit like recession and job sacking and stuff as if nobody knew abt it.. when i am in the waters in the pool and not able to swim. coming and pushing in further , is what can be an analogy.
I certainly realize i am not the only one like me who is getting affected like this. i jus think one thing what Mr. Hegde told in his public lecture;
Where one can sleep four can sit
Where one can sit, three can stand.
and i think i should co-operate with people around me and try with much efforts and i certainly believe the Force that drives everything, i believe when things are ready for me, i wil punch off into different platform making this a rememberance and nothign more.
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