When u start seeing good happening around you and you are not getting what u think u deserve, two things shud actually come to your mind. One is either you are indifferent or you must be special. the obvious things that happen to these category of people is they get flashes of hopes which make them to stick on to what they were sticking to these many days. It may mean it it might be for good or sometimes it might be a hint that there are better things waiting and the flash was jus to prove that it was more than time waste that we are waiting for things that we are not eligible for or we should be doing something more than our calibre and that we are not steadfast to it. Perhaps the most easiest thing to do is to talk and talk of that sort never carries weight. When your talk comes after you have experienced and tell a moral of your experience, the words carry more than weight. Lip sympathy infact sympathy are of no use and we should not waste our emotions on things or incidents that we know are for good and perhaps as i said time and radio heals every things. A cry, laugh, like , dislike, tension, happiness, struggle or infact life.. everything is so effortlessly moving that we fail to understand the motive of all these things happening around us. I feel sad now that i am doing nothing now. i feel happy in the evening that i dont have problems like them and not far from our parents and i am still waking up at 10 in the morning. In the night i feel i am wasted and sit and see where i am when many of my friends are moving ahead. I feel more than satisified with a nice Thumbs up in my mouth, i feel sad i cant spend as much as them. I feel happy when i go on raghu's bike with sweat on my face giving me a cooling effect. I feel sad when i see someone in Full Shirts Formals. Perhaps there are always some comprimises that one has to make to decide what he has to do for a period of time. If i get a job, i should change myself perhaps i wil get changed and should change economically, mentally, and perhaps verbally too. Growth is such a phenomenon that gives us something and takes away from us too something and perhaps that things should not be with us. Honestly till now what ever i liked or needed most, i go away from it or perhaps i struggle more than others but i add value to it and i make sure that i do more than justice and see i am unique not indifferent. I need to study , go to US but i miss parents and friends. I like to get a job but i cant struggle more and want to go to shuttle at 5 sharp. i want lot of salary and no taxes. I want AC around me and not the heat that comes out of it. I want life full of happiness and not the other part. One question is that if u want all the happiness, there is also sadness and if everytime everybody thinks they are fair in what they do in their life, why you get the happiness and why me get the despair..?
I see sometimes looking outside the window of the bus sometimes all the people are in such a hurry in accomplishing all things. when i start walking silently sometmes to the shuttle ground, if i observe myself carefully, i talk, i smile, i show many mixed emotions, run fast, sing or hum that i cant observe and others see with ease. the converse happens too. Seriously our mind is too big , too complex hmmm machine which keeps on doing so much work that it makes look anything small and un noticeable. But the irony is it transforms everything around it when its too happy or too sad. The world and people around us looks so good and so green and so musical when things go our way and then when we dont get what we get, frustration cries through our mind, hands getting itchy to beat some one without reason, angry for losing one serve in a game, remaining silent when u were always blaberring before when u were happy. Fluctuation, happiness healing to despair and converse happening. Making the mind more strong, making the emotions come out rarely and appropriately. Getting the balanced outlook towards everything. Perhaps inching towards something better and everytime we think we dont want anything and everything comes on its own when needed is the state when all things start to settle and perhaps preparing us for something better. The mind or the brain whatever makes me tell this, talk like this has total power to change my outlook and at present is most fluctuatin. The most educated person when i see crying, i feel the power of mind. Perhaps knowing is nothing when compared to understanding.Understandin is nothing in front of feeling.
Beyond all thoughts are you
Complex u r that u leave no clue
Be it a water in the form of dew
Or the tears which came from the blue
Happening is it, falsehood or true
Closer u drew
I learnt , the stronger i grew.!!
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